Find Me Here

Buy My Book!

Street Address
City, State, Zip Code

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Designed By:

Munchkin Land Designs Elements by Flergs

Tweet, Tweet


Creating a Dream of a Teen Birthday Party

By the time one’s child hits 14, it’s safe to say that I have experimented with every kind of birthday party idea known to man.

In the past, we have celebrated in many ways:

Putt Putt, clowns, magic shows, little ladies tea, roller skating, (or was that my son?!), movie and dinner night, beach trips with special friends, a luau, oh the list goes on.  So this year I shouldn’t be surprised when my daughter tells me:

“Momma, this is the MOST IMPORTANT BIRTHDAY EVER!!! You have to make it special!!”

And I can’t help but to ask: “Wasn’t last years birthday supposed to be the most important birthday EVER?! Hmmmmmm.”

So I struggle with new and creative ideas.  Finally, it hits me:


We had a

Movie on the lawn birthday party!20130926-084306.jpg

This is our outside patio area that has 1000,000 plants, pots, arbors, two pergolas and way too much furniture.  Yes, it is actually my driveway but I had it stained and built a pretty fence with an arbor to make it feel like a patio.   It’s a real pain to take all that stuff off so you can pressure wash the sucker but it is supposed to be the “most important party and all..” so I did.

The blank blank blank pressure did NOT work.

Of Course.


 I decorated with various folding tables and fun table clothes.  If you’re like me and can’t sew a stitch, Stitch Witchery is fabulous!!   Fabric glue is a good friend of mine as well. I ordered the cupcakes but really could have saved money just making them myself.  They were cute but……not sure if three dozen cupcakes were really worth 60 smacks.  I also used lime green burlap which was totally cheap and cute.  With a movie night, we had to have LOTS of candy – which we did and ohhh.. don’t forget the popcorn.  This produced a problem because who in the world has a popcorn maker these days?  I asked a friend of mine who has a big fancy commercial one who eagerly said:

“Sure!!! I’ll pull mine out of storage for you tomorrow afternoon!”

And so I must ask: do you see the cute commercial fancy smancy pop corn popper anywhere?  Errr ummmm.  Nope.  Never heard from my friend again.  Oh wells, I thought about the jiffy pop so the kids could pop their own.  This woulda been nice had my grocery store had it…which they did not.  Sooo, in case you’re wondering, movie theater microwave popcorn will do in a pinch.   I got the cutest EVER pop corn boxes from Hobby Lobby.  They were adorable :)20130926-084332.jpgFinding a projector so we could actually have a movie on my lawn produced a problem as well. And despite Izzy’s dad’s best efforts to talk us into “Just bring your living room television outside, the kids will never know the difference…”  I was determined to have the real thing but who in the world has a projector?  After much searching, Uncle George to the rescue! Now, how to work the joker….

I have to admit I was a lil nervous because the Honey was out of town and Uncle George lives 30 minutes away.  I didn’t want to blond out and not know how to work the projector and watch in horror as 25 ’14 year olds’ run around throw soggy pizza at one another because they are so bored.  I tried very hard to pay attention to Uncle George’s instructions on how exactly to run the projector.

An hour before the party, a tiny rush of teenage hormones emerged when the only movies I could dig up were The Flintstones or Barbi and not her Mean Girls. Luckily, things calmed down after an hour of intense searching.  Mean Girls was found in my bathtub.  Phew!  And don’t ask!


You can’t barely see all their lil bodies but there they are.  All sprawled out on sleeping bags.  They were so cute and quiet and very patient with me.

Because I ummmm completely blonded out.

Even after intense projector lessons, I still had a blond moment, ok several blond moments. You know, just simple start up issues like no volume and at one point somebody bumped the projector and the movie was playing in the trees and not on the sheets I had draped on the fence, etc. I had my neighbors husband come to help.  Twice.  Maybe three times. But hey, we got her running.

This was one of the cutest parties Izzy has ever had.  Thought I would share a few tips:

Ask earlier than one week who has a projector and if you’re a single momma like me, make sure to find one who is not technically challenged and  is near by. Alert him he is on call :)

We ordered 10 pizzas which was wayyyyy too much and really, they were so excited and jacked up on candy, they didn’t want it.

Make your own cupcakes.

When lighting the fire pit/chimnea, make absolute sure that you do not use two outdoor fire logs (one will do) or a massive fire explosion inferno could occur.  Luckily, all the kids were too busy watching the movie and not witnessing Izzy’s freak mom wildly running through the yard with the garden hose;   trying to put out the enormous flames.  Later, It was a little unsettling when the the fire became so hot, the bottom of the very old chimnea busted out and fire embers rolled across the patio.  It’s amazing how confused kids at that age can get. For instance, what part of “the bottom of the fire pit has busted out and that are red hot fire coals all over the ground.  Please put your shoes back on so you won’t burn your feet?” is so completely hard to understand?

Hmmmmm.  Not one of those jokers listened to the crazy woman with the melted mascara holding the garden hose.

Luckily, the only flesh burning occurred when a sparkler hit a girl in the eye ball.  (Which was fun to explain to her mother) Thankfully, she can still see.

After most of the kids have left, a few neighbors and I sat outside on lawn chairs and watched the Flinstones.  It was. Very. Cool.  Not the Flintstones but to have a giant movie playing in your back yard.

By midnight, everybody is gone.  The fireS are all put out; excessive food is given away and I find my sweet adoring, thankful daughter sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by all her gifts.  I look down wearily at the wrapping paper, colored tissue and my daughter with many gifts surrounding her.  She gazes up at me lovingly and says:

“So what are we gonna do next for my 15th birthday party?  You know that’s going to have to be VERY special…..”

Errrr. Ummmmmm…………

Her Name Is Henrietta


This is my brand*spanking* new house. Except she’s old. Very old. 1923 to be exact. She’s plopped down smack dab in the middle of a historic neighborhood which is famous for its dogwood trees and azaleas that run down an island in the middle of the road. Can you tell she may need a lil tender loving care? And do you notice that nobody has painted, cut the grass, replaced any rotten wood etc for several years? Lastly, do you sense the fear in my daughters eyes?



My new kitchen. I’m not sure who ran off and left those cabinets all open and in a disarray? Coulda been the wolf rat we found hiding in the back right hand corner. Ummmm….Yep.


The above room is what the previous owners called a food pantry. It is empty now as one can clearly see. Now all that remains is curling shelving paper, stains and roach poop remnants. Perhaps the cock roaches are the ones who ate all the food? I mean seriously, there is like… lots of poop!


Downstairs bathroom. The potty still flushes, the sink still rinses…we’d be good to go if the floor wasn’t completely rotted out and more bouncy than a trampoline.


Front hallway. It’s a lil plain Jane. I love old stairways; especially the ones that have hand carved spindles. Unfortunately, Henrietta ain’t got no fancy smancy spindles. But it’s ok, I’ll paint her up and polish her floors, slap some uber cool wallpaper on the walls ~ then on Christmas, I’ll line those steps with beautiful poinsettias.


This is her living room. The mantle is dismal. The book shelves are crooked and look like somebody just slapped them in the there half butt! Gotta find me a sassy mantle and perhaps slap some leaded glass doors on those boring shelves. And BTW: this isn’t my furniture; my stuff is very brightly colored and truly gaudy :)


Not sure if you can tell or not, but there is a drop ceiling in my dining room. The previous owner said she wished she had never done that but errrr ummm… she did. It’s ok, I gotta rip her down anyway to rip out all the rotten wood from a GIGANTIC leak in the upstairs bathroom.


Speaking of horrendous leak in the upstairs bathroom…here is said culprit of massive leaking from the tub as well as the toilet. Just by glancing at this lil room, one would never know how completely rotted the entire flooring is. ;(

From the look of the tossed roll of toilet paper, I’m supposing that someone was in a hurry to evaluate the room for fear that the tub may fall through the floor into the dining room.

OOPS. Too late. It’s already done it….


This is Izzy’s bedroom. SHE. IS. HORRIFIED.


Now this room above… she is by far…my favorite.


Lastly, we call this ‘The Door Leading To Nowhere.’ Which could very well be the story of my life with this new house I just purchased….

When Dreams Turn To Dust…

I always say if you do something insanely ridiculous and feel stupid about it, come sit by ME, I’ll make you feel better.  I am after all, the queen of overzealous mistakes, an impetuous wild child from day 1 who rushes madly full force after somewhere she’s headed, grasping for items and dreams without any kind of plan whatsoever.  Upon meeting me, you would never know how much ridiculousness I can get myself into.  In fact, those that have just met me, tell me I remind them of Elle Woods.  Remember ~ Reece Witherspoon’s fictional character from the movie Legally Blonde? Elle Woods is the ditsy but well dressed blond who is never without makeup and a matching outfit.  I can’t decide if it is insulting to be called Elle Woods or not.  I’m still pondering that one….

But then there are those that the real me and know how I really am on the inside:

‘Bridget Jones’ singletons threaten housing crisis, figures suggest

Yup.  That’s the real me.

Bridget Jones. Goofy, unlucky in love and relationships, always saying the wrong things, flubbing her sentences, setting out to make a gourmet dinner and ending up with blue string soup. Then there’s her thin and wispy hair that’s often a disarray, weight wars…. She’s a girl who struggles mightily, though usually unsuccessfully, to make since out of her career and love life.

And oh yeah…

 + two children.  And a dog.

Bridget ain’t got nothing on this single girl!

With this said, a goofy girls approach to getting ones self out of the rut with her point system is just what the doctor ordered.  Dr. Moi, that is.

Since I made up my point system five years ago, I’m like trying to remember what in the french fry west I did to start up this whole point system and then I remembered that napkin I was telling you about in my last post and decided to get a lil more sophisticated and actually use a sheet of paper.  For some reason, Jack Canfield, Steven Covey and Tony Robbins all recommend for us to ‘write it down’ so we can stare at it.  Since these fellas has a trillion smacks in the bank and I’m the one has has a trillion smacks across the face these days….I’m going follow their advice and start with my list.

What Do I Want?

1. I want somebody to tell me what I want because this darn list is overwhelming me and I just started it.

2.  I want my kids to be happy.  Yes, this is too general.  Poop.  How do I want my kids to be happy? And how much of their happiness is my responsibility?

3.  I want those people, the same ones that I want to be happy, to get back on track and help big momma clean this house!!! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (Can you tell it is getting pretty hairy around here and I’m down a maid?)

4. I want to forgive people who have hurt me but I’m still so angry and hurt, honestly all I want to do is mass produce voo doo dolls of ‘said heart stabbers.’ After about one million are made, I would like to give these voo doo dolls away at Grateful Dead concerts. NOTE: Each voo doo doll with come with their own pin for repeated sticking!

5.  I would like to miraculously erase all cellulite dimples and for all silvered stretch marks to magically disappear.  You know, POOF!

6.  POOP.  I’m stuck.  Already.


Hmmmmmm.  Certainly I want a lot in my life….and I know this list needs to consist of 100 potential points……….

Think I will dig through my files and pull out that old list… Stay tuned and no laughing when you read my list. :) If you bother to even make your own list, I’m sure we could all grab a bottle of cheap Carlo Rossi Paisano Vino  ~ FYI: it’s quite tasty, lite, cheap, and won’t give a girl too bad of a stinger the next morning.  What more could a girl ask for these days? ~ and laugh our tails off at yo list too! Hahahahahahahah!! But I will show you mine and what I accomplished five years ago.  This is also what those motivation gurus recommend: Figure out what you did before that was working for you…. and do it again.

And remember: when dreams turn to dust….vacuum.

And never, never, never give up…
~Winston Churchill