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Definition of a Road Trip

This was exactly how I felt as we were making our way to Hilton Head Island on a quick, one night get away. To get away from who or what…that is the question….because I brought my kids with me.

Just kidding sweet babies.

Not really :)

Anyhow, the trip started off innocent enough. Jake was driving. He was doing a pretty decent job, there was no whip lash from him stomping on the breaks, no running off the road while trying to read signs, life was going along quite smoothly. Until…. we had to hit the cooterfest!! Ohhhhhhhhhh, that stupid cooterfest!!! Immediately, there are detours everywhere, live music blaring and let’s not under-estimate the questions zooming through a 16 boys head: What exactly is a cooterfest and why haven’t I heard of this fine sounding festival before?????? Jake’s attention span as well as driving ability became suddenly nill. He seemed very excited to stop in Allendale SC and check out this never heard of before festival.

I quickly defined what the phrase “Cooterfest” meant for Jake.

Cooterfest: A cooter is a turtle, Jake. The cooterfest is a race to see just which turtle is the fastest. Any more questions, sicko, I mean son?

His admiration for Allendale SC quickly waned and after getting off on the wrong detour and ending up in Bamburg SC (complete opposite of where we are heading), we get back on track. Sorta.

The conversation went from: Cooterfest to lajina. Pernounced  la~ J I ~na. It like… rhymes with…oh well, I’m sure you can figure it out.

Lagina: It’s the skin between your thumb and index finger.

Such attractive road trip talk, yes? Whose children are these anyway???

Oh yeah.

Mine.

Then somebody had to bring up their wenus.

Wenus ~the skin on your elbow. Also a word used for freaking out your mother as she’s driving 80 miles per hour down highway 278. This word is used by teenage boys all over the world to suddenly startle their mother as she is thinking her only son is being vulgar and gross by talking about something / another word that is unsettlingly close to wenus.

Definition of silence: zip yo lip.

I suppose this is what happens when one’s trip is slowed and detoured by a cooterfest, the conversation just goes downhill from there…

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