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Loose Bird on an Airplane

Thursday morning, we packed up our ‘yall’s’, need for sweet tea and the overwhelming desire for grits to head back to Georgia.

The airplane ride to New York was not as near as terrifying as I thought.  After All, I was nestled in between my two chicks, a mother hen with her wings wrapped tightly around her peeps; comforting them, keeping them warm and safe from harm.

Yep, I felt NO fear whatsoever and my tail feathers weren’t ruffled one iota.

That was…on the way there.

Unfortunately on the way home…

The bird was chunk-ed from her nest.

Because I didn’t ‘book my flight with US Air themselves’, they split us up. Izzy sat between two women, Jake was parked in between two younger girls (nope, he wasn’t complaining), and I was jammed in between two unidentified men.  Umm…. is US Air just trying to teach me a lesson??? Don’t book your flights through American Express travel, you must go through us or you might be tossed from your comfy nest??? Were they like trying to be rude or what?  Who knows.  All I know is that I ended up sitting between 2 men who didn’t even look up to say hello as I plopped my tail feathers between them.  At first, I seriously considered asking if I could sit on the end of the row so if the plane started crashing I could dash to my children’s side and be with them as the plane went down.

Instead, I choose to sit in middle of he two men and completely ambush them if need be.

It need not be.

The plane didn’t crash.

Which is a good thing…in so many ways.  for one: the man sitting next to me was what he later called a ‘very nervous flyer’,

AKA a chicken.

He was not eggergerating!

(Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

When the stewardess came by with her beverage and food cart, lil chicken asked for a double vodka and I watched as he shook the ice and gobbled it down.  Next came the potato chips. Poor guy can barely stick his hand in the bag and get himself a chip.  His hands were over the top shaking.  I am so concerned about this bird freaking out on me, I focus all my attention on getting his attention off of the plane ride.

I stick my beak in his buiness as I poke and prode this chicken about his own lil peeps.  Hoe old are they?  What’s it like to have twins?  Does one wake the other up? you know: quack quack quack…anything to calm this bird down.

It worked.  Shortest flight I ever had.

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