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Munchkin Land Designs Elements by Flergs

Sequins are a Flibbergibbet’s Best Friend

With her sweet innocent voice, she confesses: “PF, I don’t know how to say this without hurting your feelings…”

…I wonder how long it took Princess Patience to get up the courage to finally ask me….

“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Just say it.”
“Now, this middle school you’re going to visit……”
“Yup?” I gulp.
“Well, ummmm, well, I know you love to dress, oh what’s the word???? Funky? No, sparklety? Is that a word? Ummmm, no, no, maybe not.  Maybe fancy? Creative? Bright? No, not bright….” Princess Patience is now stuttering.
“What am I, a walking neon blinking sparkle sign? Good grief!”
“No, no. I love the way you dress, it’s just that….these are children you’re going to speak to…. you’re not gonna wear that same sequin dress that I saw you in with your last book signing, are you?”
“OH MY ACHING BUTT!” I squeak into the phone!
Need a refresher?

“Do you mean the brightly colored sequin dress? My – uh – MARDI GRAS dress????  Why, yes Princess Patience…that’s exactly what I had planned to wear… I mean come on, girl… I live life according to Erma Bombeck, don’t you???????”



If I Had My Life To Live Over



by Erma Bombeck

The following was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.


If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s”.. More “I’m sorrys” …

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it … live it…and never give it back.

© Erma Bombeck

“But no, Princess Patience, you can rest assured, I won’t be wearing my sequin dress to the visit the middle schoolers…at least not the sequin dress, that is…..”

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