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teenagers learning to drive

Friend Finder App: Unsticking The Dot

img_3811-1.jpgI’m not sure WHY everybody thinks it’s so weird that I followed my 16 yr old daughter to school after she first got her drivers license. I mean for crying out loud, doesn’t everybody?!! What do people expect me to do – thrust my tiny child (her is only 5 feet tall) onto the absolute maniac streets alone?!  What if she gets lost? She doesn’t have momma there to point out where to turn, when to pass, which way to go is the most efficient!? I mean seriously, after all, she is a real deal blond. Just saying….

There are real live dangers in today’s world…What if she stops for gas and is kidnapped by the gas attendant? It’s possible. Her is very cute after all….

What if she is mowed over by some buffoon half awake truck driver?!!!

With all these concerns, you can see why I followed my child to school everyday for a week. Now if you think this is weird, I’m supposing you will think what I did next was really weird. 

My friend MK told me about a phone app called Find Friends That way, a parent could see where their child is at all times. I don’t look at it as being overbearing more as I see it as taking a protective measure.

My child absolutely refused to keep the app on her phone. “You don’t trust me!” She wailed! “Nobody else has to do it!! And you’re the ONLY freak mom who followed her child to school every day!”

Her was completely uncooperative.

So as a single momma, I had to get forceful. “If you don’t install the app, I’m taking your phone away.” I informed my child.

Now this had her lil ears perked up. So she installed the app and the next day, I gleefully dashed to my new app and imagine my surprise when I discovered it was installed on MY phone so I could where I was but somehow she managed to uninstall the app on her own phone.

I took her stinking phone.

You can’t imagine how fast that app returned to not only my phone but Izzys too.

So a couple of weeks later, I am truly enjoying the Find Friends App. I look to make sure she has made it to school in the mornings and in the afternoon, I watch as the dot shows me she is at the mall safely.  It’s a very cool app. I even go so far as to inform her when I notice that she is in Dillard’s, that she doesn’t need to spend her lil money. I also give her gentle reminder texts such as “Mommy sees that you are Sonic. Don’t spoil your dinner!”

One would think that a child would appreciate such love and concern….

Izzy does not. I think her exact words are “you need to get a life instead of following me around..”

Hurumph!

The other morning we had a lil spat before school.  Izzy stormed out the door and headed to school. Even though It wasn’t a huge tiff,  I was a lil worried.  “What if she is so upset, she forgets there is a school zone one street over from us and she speeds right through it?! What if she has a wreck?!”

My heart begins to race.

I quickly dash to my phone to make sure she is safely at school. I Text.  Text.  Text.  No answer.  The lil dot on my app shows me she is clearly NOT at school. She is strangely stuck one street over. “She’s probably been pulled over and is hysterical by now!!” I tell myself.

And then I become hysterical myself thinking thoughts like “I bet that policeman is being so mean to her, she’s probably  sobbing; embarrassed and needs her momma!! BULLY POLICEMAN!!!!!” I try to take deep breaths.  I call her once. Twice.  “I bet that policeman has intimated her so much, she’s forgotten what to do if she gets pulled over!” (We’ve rehearsed several times) Or worse yet. There has been accident.

20 Minutes pass by since she has left the house.

The dot does NOT move…. It is still strangely stuck in one place …

I can take it no longer.  I dash out the house with my pajamas still on, my sons ski jacket and UGG boots. I tear down the street.  The phone rings and its Izzy. I snatch the phone up “Izzy, it’s ok, I know exactly where you are and mommy will be there in 30 seconds! Don’t panic!!!”

Izzy answers me: “Huh? What did you say, I can’t hear you with all these people in the hall. And why do you keep texting and calling me? I’m in class mom….”

“Errrrrrrrr.  Ummmmmm ok. So you’re not in a wreck right around the corner?” I ask, all aspirated.  “But the dot, I’ve been staring at the dot on my app all morning and it’s like strangely stuck in one place and it won’t move forward.”

“Uh no, mom. I’m at school… I’m totally fine. As far as that dot being strangely stuck and not moving forward….I dunno. Reset it and move on.”

Sheesh.

I hung up the phone and realized maybe it’s ME that’s strangely stuck; worrying too much about my lil girl growing up. She’s not two years old anymore …. Time to reset my way of thinking and get my own dot moving along the road once again.

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Sick Momma

 

When you’re a momma whose sick, it stinks.  When you’re a single momma whose sick, it super stinks.  You lie there in your bed, all congested and snorting listening to the vicious arguing amongst the two children in the next room. The slamming of doors, the name calling, death threats etc …. oh yeah, they are out for blood those two! You’re weak, you’re weary and you can’t seem to get the gumption to actually get out of bed and snag the instigator.  Which, by the way, I think is Jake.

Oh yeah, he’s been in a foul one for the last three days.  It started on Saturday to be exact.  That’s when his friend came over to hang.  Now when I first heard Friend was coming over, I said “whoa whoa man, I don’t know if I’ll have time to go get him and take him home, after all the child lives 30 minutes away.”

“Oh you don’t have to, he’s driving.”

“Driving? Friend is driving? What exactly is Friend driving? His scooter, skateboard, wheel barrow?”

“Ummm. Funny, mom. Friend has his drivers licence. And a car.”

I begin to perspire.

“Well, who in the world let him do that???” I ask, my voice all quibbling and such.

“His mom did it. Like MY mom is supposed to do it …and hasn’t!!!!”

Dern these 16 year olds can be mouthy!!!!! “My fault?? It’s my fault that YOU haven’t mastered he art of driving?? It’s my fault that YOU catch a wheel every time you back out of a parking space?? It’s my fault when you park on the curb making the car so whompsie and one sided, I’m sure we’re gonna flip over?  I guess I’m the one who causes you stop in the middle of a busy road to ‘let that poor guy out in traffic’ when we almost get smushed by 10,000 cars in the process? Jake, I don’t think you’re ready to drive on your own. White knuckling the steering wheel and profuse back sweating is not the norm, honey.”

“Yea, I know.  it’s all your fault. You won’t let me drive enough.”

“My fault????????” I feel my temperature rising. “Excuse me mister, but you really haven’t shown that much interest and it doesn’t help that we live across the street from everything we could possibly need.”

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…of all the nerve!

Then Jake continues to growl about how I’m holding him back, crushing his self esteem…..yada yada yada.

Uhhhh.  yeah, sure.

Then he starts running his smack about something……  40 hours of driving and how I, yes I was supposed to get some sheet to log in his driving hours.  “Whoa, dude!! I nothing!!!  I got my drivers license 100 years ago and I am not responsible for you getting your 40 hours sheet!!!” (Whatever in the heck that is!!!!)

So, more doors slam and Jake is off to his room to think up evil names to call me.  At this point, my nose is too stuffy to call the drivers license place so I lie back down and awake to breakfast in bed, Izzy style:

At least one child still likes me…for the moment….